MsDeadWalking

I feel awful. I cut myself again.

I’m so worried it’s tearing me apart.

I just wanna kill myself. Tomorrow is gonna be shit. I won’t get through the day, it’s impossible.

Hello.

I’m back.

Don’t know where to start. So much has happened.

I’m not happy, but I’m really close. I’ve made friends. I can make friends now. Haven’t cut in six months. Dyed my hair 3 different colours. I’m still weird. But it okay.

I’m myself now. Miracles can happen. I always thought I was sick. Now I know that I was never sick. I just had a major fall. And I’m just climbing up.

I’m going to school actually. Full days. And I’m doing pretty good.

I have a best friend. I think at least. I’m not quiet sure yet, but we talk and we walk a lot. I feel good with him.

People here respect me. When I came here I was so amazed by the fact I did not have to fight 24/7 for attention. I just got accepted.

I love my life. Of course things can always be better, but I like the way it is right now. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t met these people.

I believe in life again. And I want to live. And luckily I can.

Haven’t felt suicidal in a month.

Yes, I still feel suicidal. Sometimes. Let’s say I’m thinking about it, but I will never make an attempt. Ever.

Come to me to talk. Being open is the cure. It makes you strong. So incredibly strong.

Xxx. You’re all sweethearts :)

I met the people I’m going to live with. They are such nice people.

I was nervous at the beginning, but they were really friendly and nice. They all wanted to show me their room and they gave me a tour. Friday, I will be there for a couple of hours to talk with them. Monday, I will move my stuff there and pack for camping. Tuesday I’m going camping. 

It all went all right.

Yay.

I find Alaric more handsome with short hair.

I’m just gonna kill some time by watching vampire diaries.

I’m back. You need to my support for today.

I just showered and I’m going to walk over to my friends house in a couple of hours. I’m so nervous. I actually don’t know what house he lives at. That’s a bit stupid but I will find his house. 

I’m going to throw up.

I’m going to leave you Tumblr. I have an appointment with my treatment center today and I’m just hungry. Bye.

It’s 7:17 right here. I’m going to sit on the roof. Kidding. Just making a picture of my window view. Is view spelled right?

I’m curious how people are going to react to my Facebook story. I’m saying Facebook but I really mean the Dutch version of Facebook. So I’ll just say Facebook. 

I’m curious as I said. It can turn out like: i want to be friends again, sorry i screwed you over and slammed you in the face or it can turn out like: bitch, i never want to see you again, go fuck yourself.

I’m hoping the first. I hope they will bring a balloon cause I love balloons. Maybe they’ll even come to my birthday party. Yay! I’m feeling good. Thanks Tumblr for being my friend. Ya know what I’m talking about.

Yay! I have a new friend!

gzer0x asked: you should draw a butterfly instead of a dotted line! :D

your so sweet. wanna be friends :) then i’ll have one friend more and i won’t be completely alone. sounds like a plane to me.

Bored

Cause who would want to be friends with a fucked up suicidal girl. No one.